When we think about improving our health, we usually focus on the big three: exercise, nutrition and sleep. All are essential. But there’s another powerful contributor to our wellbeing that often flies under the radar, oxytocin.
Often called the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone”, oxytocin is released during positive social interactions and plays an important role in helping us feel connected, trusted and supported. While researchers continue to explore its many effects, one thing is clear: strong social connection is good for our health.
The best part? Boosting oxytocin doesn’t require another supplement, wearable device or expensive wellness programme.
Sometimes it starts with something as simple as making eye contact and smiling.
In today’s fast-paced world, we’re more digitally connected than ever, yet many people feel increasingly disconnected from those around them. We rush between meetings, stare at screens for hours and often communicate through emails and text messages instead of genuine conversations.
Perhaps one of the simplest ways to improve our wellbeing is to reconnect with the people around us.
So, how can you naturally encourage more oxytocin in your day?
Start with eye contact. It sounds almost too simple, but giving someone your full attention sends a powerful message that they’re being seen and heard. In a world full of distractions, genuine presence has become surprisingly rare.
Smile more. A genuine smile is contagious. It can instantly change the tone of a conversation, strengthen relationships and brighten someone else’s day, often without either of you saying a word.
Don’t underestimate the power of a hug. Appropriate physical touch helps strengthen feelings of connection and belonging. Whether it’s a hug from your partner, your children or a close friend, these moments matter more than we often realise.
Spend time with animals. Dog owners will probably be nodding as they read this. A walk with the dog, a cuddle on the couch or simply stroking a pet can leave us feeling calmer and more connected. There’s a reason pets are often described as therapy.
Prioritise real conversations. Catch up with a friend over coffee. Put the phone away at dinner. Listen without thinking about your next response. Human connection isn’t a luxury, it’s part of maintaining good health.
And yes, there’s one more activity worth mentioning. Sexual intimacy and orgasm are also associated with oxytocin release. So alongside eating well, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep, here’s one health recommendation that usually receives very little resistance. Not every wellbeing intervention has to involve kale, cold showers or a 5am workout!
Of course, oxytocin isn’t a magic cure. Good health will always be built on strong foundations: regular movement, nutritious food, quality sleep and effective stress management. But meaningful relationships deserve to sit alongside those pillars.
As leaders, parents, colleagues and friends, we often underestimate the impact of the small things. A smile. A hug. A kind conversation. A few minutes of undivided attention. These everyday moments help strengthen relationships and contribute to healthier, happier and more resilient communities.
So here’s your challenge this week. Look up from your screen. Make eye contact. Smile at someone. Give someone you care about a hug. Pat the dog. Catch up with a friend. And if you decide to tick off that final suggestion as well, let’s just say your health might thank you.
Neil Wagstaff is the owner of Peak Fitness in Havelock North. He has over 25 years experience in the health and fitness industry.
neil@peakfitnessandhealth.co.nz www.peakfitnessandhealth.co.nz
